Kirsty's Inappropriate Top Tip # 1

Things that bug me:

1) People with not all that much going on use emotional blackmail: people without anything much at all in their lives seem to spend much of their time making other people feel bad form not spending enough time with them. Maybe they have shit relationships, unhappy work, whatever, but please don't make your friends pay the price, or you'll have even less going on because they're going to dump you too one day. Trust me.

I KNOW this shit backwards because I have been this person many many times in my life. But I've also been o the other side. I'm there now, so I'm feeling annoyed. When I'm lonely or bored or friendless (happens more and more often since I've started talking about rubbish like this), then I'll feel guilty and sad about spilling the beans, but at the moment I'm noticing friends have had kids and are working more and loving life more and are busy with family, friends, houses, money, activities, etc and are spending time in two hourly pockets.

I REALLY like this. It's efficient friend time, you see, kiss, chat, laugh, share, gossip, piss off. You can chat again tomorrow, or next week, or email, it's not superficial time, it's good friendship time where you don't need to start from the very begining because you guys all know eachother. It's great! It's also very priviliged because not all that many people get to have long term friendships, but that's also the point. you're going to lose them if you tug on them too hard.

I've noticed this more because since buyign a house, I have people over. I used to go see people out at places, but my new dog is far too excited by other dogs, and the world, to be let out there too often, so I've started 'entertaining'. Okay so I'm not cooking anything, but there's a new rules going on. I can't just get up and leave my own house when I'm twitchy and need to go write, work, see someone else, snooze, have a shag. It's... well it's almost rude, I guess. the onus is now on someone else to call it quits and it's freaking me out a little.

Okay, so I know a FEW people, some of them friends, some of them family, who don't have much going on, and they NEVER know when to leave. You can stop serving, pack up around them, run a bath, turn down the lights, they're still asking for another drink/coffee, chat. They follow you into bed, and they don't even want to have the sex. It's just they don't have anywhere much else to go.

I know I'm a mean old sulk to say this, but I am too rude to put up with it, so please don't make me push you out the door and lock it behind you.

2) People who should know better who have bad breath. There's really no excuse these days. If you don't have someone who is close enough, or honest enough, to tell you every word you utter peels another layer of skin from their face, then you should just ask a stranger. Be bold.

3) It's way too cold in the mornings right now. Rug up. Scarves are sexy (unless they're ugly ones)